FACT: TOO MANY WOMEN IN GAMES

'DON'T WORRY DEAR, LET THE MEN HANDLE THIS BETA TEST'

OPINION A-GO-GO: With the recent hubbalaboo over Anita Sarkeesiannimen's first 'Tropes vs. Women in Games' video hitting the interwebs like a tennis ball to the face, bouncing off every hard surface it comes into collision with, it's only natural that some people are telling us to stop throwing that ball in my face. And you know what I say? Let me get my racquet. In my first serve, Sarkeesium's video has reignited the women in games debate, prompting level-headed commentators like 'bro-dick55max' from Kotaku.com to say 'this bitch has no idea what she's talking about, someone give her a long-due abortion'; and he may just be onto something. In recent tests IGN has shown that women are weaker than men, and cannot handle the complexity of HTML without bursting into tears and, in rare cases, self-immolation. Tests also show that the portrayal of women in games 'promotes a healthy image and role for all women to strive for', citing Jade from Beyond Good & Evil as 'embarrassingly lesbian-esque'. As the rally comes back my way in the form of the question 'then what do we do about it Mr. Huffletiem?', all I say is this; ladies, play Lollipop Chainsaw, then sit down, watch some telly, and think about what you've done.

Hole-in-one.