THE REVIEW REVUE: Bioshockingly Decent

"Booker getting hit with a book? Satire at its finest, Levine. "

WELCOME FRIEND. This is a new segment in which I review games. Let's read on, shall we? Too late, it's already begun.

• BioShock Infinity:  Game with guns, tight and responsive gameplay let down by ludicrous story and setting. City in the sky? More like shitty in the sky. (9/∞)
• Lugi's Mansion 2: Nintendo returns to its survival horror roots in this frighteningly good sequel. If you can get through mansion no. 2 without cacking yourself then you're a liar and need to get yourself checked. (8/10ooo00ooo0hhh)
• Lego City: Undercover: GOTY contender right here, mate. Best Wii U game since, erm, Funky Barn. (7/10)
• Monster Hunter 3 Tri: Ultimate Freedom 2G: So it's like Pokemon but you get to physically kill and skin the monsters. To each their own, you lunatic. (8/10)

MY GLORIOUS RETURN

"Missed me?"

Hello loyal reader. I am back. I stubbed my thumb opening a jar of pickled eggs 2 months ago and haven't been able to type since, still hurts like a bastard, and I have to hold down the shift key with my nose. Sorry for any grammatical misatkes.